Barcelona 1

New chapter, half year for a little retreat..

As many of you know, I study in Amsterdam in Hotelschool The Hague. Part of my education is to go abroad twice, first time after the first year and second time by the end of the bachelor program.

A month ago I started new chapter of my life calls “Barcelona”, yeah in this city I haven’t lived before J. As almost everything in my life, it was spontaneous and unpredicted decision to leave Amsterdam and go there. Few weeks ago I wrote that I will go to Bangkok and start my internship over there. That was the plan, which has changed due to some circumtances. Because of  being rejected from Bangkok, I had some time to think about my life, in which everything has to be always planned, however those plans never meet my expectations. Why is that ? is it just my imagination? Is this what I have to change ? to be honest I’ve been thinking a lot about my destinations and why I am going to those places… after weeks of sleepless nights  I came to the conclusion that everything happens for  reason. I know, the phrase is old and everyone knows it, however the question is if everybody understands it ? repeat over someone this sentence is very easy, but when your plans turn into ruins ,  you start to understand what this phrase really means. Then you analyze your last moves and you see that  .. Everything happens for a reason 

As you know, my new life in Colombia started very unpredictable, fast and without planned it before. If you are new on my blog, I can shortly say that I was about to move to USA and…. I landed in Colombia J

The goal of this post is to make you see how unpredictable life is and plans we make aren’t necessary. Those plans keep us busy, keep us safe in our comfort zone then we do not worry about anything else but we stick to the plan.

What happens when suddenly our plan changes into something totally opposite ? accept it.

Everything happens for the reason… this sentence took me from Amsterdam to Barcelona for 6 months. I can say that I got tired of constantly moving, however I know that it is good for me and for my self -development. I am young, almost 21, I just started my life. However I miss one little piece- HOME. I was 15 when I moved out from my family house and now I know it was obviously too early. I was hungry for a world, I wanted to travel everywhere, never stick to one person, never stay at one place longer than 2-3 years..so I decided to travel and do international schools around the world. In 6 years I lived in Colombia, Poland, Netherlands and besides everyday life I have been travel to Japan for 3 months, back to Colombia, back to Poland, back to everywhere where I wanted to…

I don’t regret these 6 years, however now I miss home. I miss having one base, one home, one place where I can always come back after short holidays. I know it is a bit impossible because of my career I chose, however I’ve learned how HOME plays enormous role in our lives and how planning doesn’t help in living.

So I accepted Barcelona as it is. I have a really nice-dreamed internship. I am a first contact when meetings are taking place in a hotel ( W HOTEL BARCELONA) I have  nice flat, nice roommates, I am meeting new people  and everyday is different for me. No routine, which I miss but I know its good for me to live this simple-holiday alike life. Its good to not have any routine, live the fullest and do not worry about anything.

 Last months, showed me that I should really go with the flow, take everything what they offer me, do not make any plans and do not expect anything from anyone.

So my goal for upcoming 6 months is to think a lot about myself. Take care about my health, my body, my soul- Little retreat before I will come back to Amsterdam.  I got a plan, which I will share with you in couple of weeks, now I wanna keep it for myself and start doing something to calm down, to stop follow, to become healthier and stronger.

To finish, if you will come to Barcelona one day, please do not hesitate to contact me and meet me for a coffee ! honestly saying,  two weeks ago I met one of my blog reader and it was such a funny day on the beach in Barcelona !

xx Natalia

motivate others, motivate yourself and spread positivity...

And it is happening. I became the most happy person the world. Remember my post about giving more from yourself and therefore you will receive double ? yes. so I am now the best example of it. Recently, I had a very bad period of time. I was very stressed, I had to work my ass off and study even more, I had to find time for my friends and therefore I couldnt combine all these things together. What happened today, I just found out that all my entire family is coming to Amsterdam for a weekend to cheer me up, to attend parents day at my university, to be with me.. The message I would like to deliver now is, that no matter what is happening there are always those amazing caring people for you.   
" even miracles take time to come.." and yeah.. In exactly few hours my 4 miracles are coming here, for me. 
Right now, I decided to not taking care of anything, which is not worth to but to take care of people and things that really matter for me. Our everyday concerns are about rubbish. We think about the things, which are the least important. Whatever you do and you feel like you cannot do it anymore- breath, take a break, think about the goods you have around you and think about your little pearls. PEARLS ? yes. they say "collect moments, not things" and so I do it. I have just few more days in Amsterdam to finish my first year and what I can say, very honest, that I wasted so much time on people and things, which were not worth it. But it was a good lesson. I feel so strong now. and it didn't come after few weeks of trying, but after  months. Today is actually the day, which made me realize all those things. You may ask how come? how can I leave the things behind and focus on the priorities ? That was my question from the past weeks, and because of today's surprise, that my parents, little sister and my brother are coming just for a 2 days to be with me, as they were really worried about me,  and  that they want to show me the love of people who care the most about me.. 

I made really nice friendships during this year, also I have my best friends in Colombia and in Poland. I have my family and I love everyone but with the different quality of love. This is the most important for me after this year:  getting to know more good people,  feel the inner happiness and spreading the smile around. When you smile, others smile. When you see tired  and sleepy people, who don't have energy anymore, please stop. tell them compliment, joke with them and believe me that you will make their day. it really works. 

For the last 3 weeks I had to make myself super busy in order to not think about my concerns, so basically I was working 18 hours daily, at school and my part time job. My body and my brain were exhausted but even then, I felt like I am the one who have to cheer others up. I was always giving everything what the best from myself to others. Everyday at my work, fine dining restaurant in Amsterdam I was treating every guest super special. I left my personal issues behind, I was smiling, running with a tray full of glasses, which weighted like 5kg. I was never thinking about the money but about giving the best out of me and make them also feel special. I am really happy and I feel unique how my parents raised me up. 

Dear Mom or Dear Dad, if you are reading this now, please accept my biggest words of being thankful of how you raised me, how you showed me the world and especially how the happiest person  I am that I know all these things what I know now.  Its only because of you both and your efford. 

 

And now the time, which just came now-  to pay me off all the tryings and painful moments is just priceless. The moment, when you realize that you made x number of people happy - it is the most beautiful moment. It takes time, as everything. And time is the only 'thing' you can never resit. Thats why when you feel like you didnt do enough for others, when you feel that you have to catch up with your family, friends, the moment when you feel that you want to do something for others..  - DO IT IMMEDIETALY. there is always the right moment to do it. It is never too late. forget about the stupid fights, forget about what happened in the past. Focus on yourself, focus on being good and  be a kind person. 

motivate others, motivate yourself and spread positivity. 

for everyone, enjoy your deserved holidays and all the summer. 

 

with the word of being grateful for all my family and friends,

Natalia 

World citizen

World citizen.  Sounds fancy doesn’t it ? the more I live in Amsterdam , more people like me I meet. And believe me- I love it because of this very fast click between us. Fast click? Yeaa we kinda have the same things  in common, we had to leave our ‘mother country’ when we both were quite young, we started to explore the world and we are always ready for spontaneous trip anywhere. 

If you recognize this behavior, please PM me haha J

Saying honestly, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot since  a few months already, especially since  last august when I moved to Amsterdam. There is no day when I am not asked 

“ where are you from ? “ and then everybody can see this little smile on my face… why? Because it is really hard to define where I am from since my heart is divided around the word. Born in Germany, then lived in Poland, then moved to Colombia where I made family & friends who are from every part of the world, then the Netherlands, where now I am starting to making really good friends… and next half year,  from September I will move to Bangkok for the next 6 months. So… WHERE AM I FROM? The answer isn’t easy at all. they say that you are from where your family is.. but.. no, i don not agree at all.  Having very important people on every continent in the world doesn’t help at all to define this question. But what is more, I realized that I am not the only one, I meet more and more people who have the same issues. Last week, I met a really nice guy who is German,  left piece of his heart in Mexico and another part in China and now he lives in NL.. We were laughing how difficult is define “where are we from”?

Of course there are a  lot of advantages and disadvantages of this situation. The advantages are pretty clear;  being open minded, knowing perception of different cultures, knowing how to behave when cultures collide, having family and friends around the glob, non stop traveling etc… however I have noticed that no one never talks about disadvantages which occur after a while, when being abroad for a longer time.. and this you have to keep in mind, if you decide to leave your home country to discover a world ( especially when you are very young, like I was 15 when I decided to take my future in  my hands and discover the world )

When you are teenager you don’t really realize how much you need your home, parents, friends from local high school… you would like to escape as far as possible to not be bored anymore at one place you live longer than you want to. So the next step, very easy one actually is to find organization with which you will go abroad for a specific period of time. Then the last one, you finally pack your suitcase, crying,  cause you are not sure anymore if you want to do it, if this all is worth it all, you have doubts… but you have your ticket, your host family is waiting for you and what is more… the world is waiting for you. After the last hugs at the airport, after 15 hours of flight you are finally there and then every doubt you had, suddenly doesn’t exist anymore. Why? Because you are at new place, you want to know yourself better, finally you are on your own.  That’s actually what I felt when I arrived in Cucuta, Colombia in 2011.

Bet let me be honest and talk in present, 2015.

As I mentioned before, it is really hard to answer the question regarding my nationality. Of course my passport is Polish, but my heart is everywhere. Is it good or is it bad ? the opinions are divided. I cannot deny the fact that it was too early to leave home, cause right now I really don’t know where is my home. Of course my biological parents and siblings live in Poland so I should call Poland home, but I don’t. I have too many feelings towards other people and I feel connected to so many other different places and countries that I just don’t have one home. And again the question, is it good or is it bad ? or maybe this is my destiny. To travel, to discover and do not wonder about the things that ‘normal’ people do ? I think it should be my answer. On the other hand, the older I am , the more I think about settling down. Ok, I am just 21 this year but  believe me , it is heartbreaking seeing my friends or my 2^nd halves to leave to another country or to their home countries. What is more, I have also noticed that if I have to express myself in one sentence it would be “ non stop looking ‘

‘ non stop looking ‘ for what ? yeah, I cannot answer this question now, but it is true, I am non stop looking for something I haven’t defined yet.

Especially now, in April there is a period when your finals are coming and you think about having a gap year and going abroad to find and explore sth new. Right? Think about it as for defined period of time, one year , few months and you will be back, fully ready to study. But is it true? That after months on the other continent with totally different people you can just like that come back to your home country and start living as you lived before ? NO. trust me and other exchange students I talk to.. that this is not possible at all. once you decided to leave your home for longer than just holidays, then you will never come back the same person. unless you did not like the hosts, country or new culture.. then you will be homesick and want to come back home asap. And actually this version happens in 80% of people who decide to have a gap year in totally different culture. Why does it happen so often? because not everyone is ready for it or born to do it. and there is nothing wrong with that. trust me, nothing wrong. People with a strong sense of home and home country do not fall into other countries and other 'families' as people like me. Example; my exchange year in Colombia. We were 12 exchange students in my city, around 60 exchange students in Colombia ( mostly from Europe and USA ) and believe me or not.. only I came back twice per year, only I have a strong relationship with my family and friends there, only I fell into Colombianos and only I want to do something big for this country ( secret for now ) only I am crazy and skype every sunday, only I come back for every Xmas leaving my biological family to spend this magical time with people who fell into me and I fell into them. logical? not for everyone... but this is just an example. It has nothing in common with easily adaptation in other country, but with a heart and personality. People who know me well, they know how hard is being me. Recently I was asked a question " How is being you, Natalia " ? so now I can ask you the same question... I am not going to answer here, but please, think about yourself..

so.. HOW IS BEING YOU? 

More thoughts regarding being a ‘ world citizen’ will come..

But in a meanwhile..

If you ever spent in Bangkok more than a month, not as a tourist, please shoot me an email                    ( nskotnicka@wp.pl) with some tips.  I am going there by the end of September and will be under contract of the W hotel. I will very appreciate anything you can tell me about this city or in general south Asia as I have never been in this part of the world.

Have a nice week

un beso

Natalia

Colombia missing

Exactly 2 months since I came back from Colombia. And I started really miss it. 

Family. Friends. The vibe. The sun. the smile. The care. The values.

Family

What I still develop inside me is my family value, which the oldest followers know. When I moved to Colombia I was young, European teenager, who knew everything what home and modern society was teaching. Now,  I call it ‘ the bubble’, in which most of the people still are. What is the bubble ? it’s a house, car, money, holidays, clothes, parties ..our everyday life. I thought I had perfect life because I had everything I wanted… Until I went to Colombia.. and I saw how the life really looks like and how should look like.

 Most of you probably still don’t understand how family is important in our life. I have never realized before living in Colombia that I was not used to tell people how important they are for me and how I love them. What has changed, now I cannot imagine a day without telling at least one person about his/her importance in my life. Well, the emotions and experiences I had in Colombia, created a person like I am now and believe me or not but I am very happy with myself, who I became and who I still want to develop.

 I feel like 15 years in Europe meant nothing and taught me nothing. First family parties, first people around me, first everything was just done in a very unusual way. People who have travelled or lived in Colombia may already notice the warmth of people’s heart , who say ‘ hola, como estas ? ‘ and they really mean that.  First family bdays, first xmas with my grandparents, first hearing about emotions and love -out loud- made me notice the importance of the second person (friend/boyfriend/girlfriend) or family in life. I noticed that all the material things we own mean nothing if you cannot share them with the people who really love you. In Colombia family is saint, you will always find time for them, you will call your parents everyday to check how they are, you will be for them every time. Why ? because you care, not because you have to.

Friends- to Cristina, Hugo, Pacho

In Colombia I also learned what is the real friendship. After coming back to Europe, there is no single day when I don’t think about my dearest Cristina, Hugo y Pacho and of course  every time I talk to them, I feel like we will always be for each other, no matter what I can always count on them and they can always count me. Bonding with people is very important, but we have to select them. We have to collect ‘the pearls’ instead of shells, which will never be able to open. Honestly saying, at my uni I attended 4 mindfulness classes, in which I built up my thoughts about people around me. I love people and I cannot imagine my life without them and that is why I would like to offer them as much as I can.

Pacho, Cristina, Hugo, Me- typical party at my place :)

I was thinking about taking good vibes from people, keep it for myself, develop and then spread them over. I have noticed that a lot of people feel just left alone, they are in the wrong environment and they pretend to be happy, instead of giving the best of themselves. I am not responsible for other people lives but I would like to make everyone happy, which sounds ridiculous but it is still possible. How ? by compliment them everyday, saying nice word.  The simplest example, but I can say that I am a bit proud of it happened 2 weeks ago, just before ‘ women day’ in Europe. I went out with my friend for a dinner and when we were walking back home I saw beautiful pink roses. I thought “ lets buy them and have a cozy pinky room with smell of 20 pretty roses” however when I entered to the campus I changed my mind and I decided to give all those 20 roses away to girls and see if  they will smile. Believe me or not, but there wasn’t a girl who didn’t smile and who didn’t say thank you, from the heart.

At this point I was pretty sure that I made theirs evening. And what now? I gave away many roses to the girls I have never met, now we always say Hi to each other and even sit together and have a cigarette between classes, exchanging everyday experience and just smile to each other to make our day better J

Trust me, that with the simplest thing you can make someone’s day.

You may ask yourself why am I writing this here, isn’t suppouse to be a blog about Colombia and cultural things ? well, it is actually. Because without Colombia I would never realized these beautiful things and values in myself. 

That’s why friends are for, that’s what my 3 dearest Colombians taught me all these things, by giving a small spark everyday and by showing me the smile I should give to other people.

 

The vibe and the smile.

Look at this picture and I don’t believe you wont smile J

the picture on your right : after almost 30 hours of travel, my biggest luggage stayed in NYC, so why not having fun at the airport as a typical Colombiana does? climbing up on this band was always my dream :))

below:

my brother and me, Bogota, December 2014 

The values :

 Here I have to stop for now. I hope I gave you enough inspiring thoughts that you will figure them out by yourself. Mines, I will keep for myself.

Ps. Getting out of the topic,

 For summer/ late summer I have group of young 10-15 group of Polish people who will fly to Colombia. If you would like to join them, please do not hesitate to email me (you can find my email address in the right corner). The plan is to see and experience real Colombia. Low cost budget, lot of experience. It is going to be fun !!!

Colombia 2014

Dear readers,

Firstly, I would like to tell you all that I am in Colombia. Second, I would like to wish you a very merry xmas and a happy new year. Third, I am the happiest person ever while being in Colombia.

inspired by : bomba estereo-pajaros

Unless I came to Colombia for a very short time, I am so grateful to see everyone. My family, my home- the place full of emotions and memories, I am also very grateful that everyone treats my brother, who came with me as they do treat me. it is a very special feeling and from this place I would like to thank you to all my friends and family for that. I wont do anything special in Colombia, so no new pics from Caribbean ( my fav place). I decided to come to CO because I could not stand that something was missing in me. This 'something' is actually my whole world. During the past 4 years happened a lot. I came to CO for the first time, during one year I learned a life, then I started my IB school, I came back to CO, I was heartbroken, I graduated, I started my university in Amsterdam, where I met a very special people and now I am back to Colombia. During one night with my friends I got so many reflections, which is soo good. I feel like home, you have no idea how good it is to be back to the place you belong the most.
As my staying in Colombia is very short, I wont write much here until I wont experience everything inside me. However I would like to wish you sth very special, from my heart.

For this xmas and new year's eve I would like to wish you a lot of quality time with people who love you and you love them. And I would like to wish you a train of.... ( sorry for the message in Spanish)
' el tren de la esperanza.. cargado de felicidad, amor y buenas noticias. Que esta sea una maravillosa navidad y el 2015 ano no pare de sorprendelos'

Merry xmas, hopefully all our wishes and dreams will come true.

enjoy
xx

our first photo in Colombia, my bro so happy ^^

bday party, Bogota, club fabuloso

con las mochillas, typical Colombian bags, Bogota, Usaquen.

with my sisisisis

and here we go, Colombian food 

snapchatting with my Hugis

and relaxation time at home

Marry xmas, hopefully all our wishes and dreams will come true in 2015.

enjoy

xx Poloca

Juan Valdez coffee

Hello  Junge !

That’s my most commonly saying HELLO to guys from my University in Ams. Its been a lot of fun today but also very busy. We work as crazy for 12-13 hours daily but I never forget about my dearest followers. As I posted on my facebook fanpage https://www.facebook.com/Nataliaskotnickablogspotcom ( if you did not like it yet, please do it ! ) I really miss my best Colombian coffee which always makes me awake. If I would have to choose where would I want to have a cup of coffee it wouldn’t be Starbucks, nor Costa but … JUAN VALDEZ. For those who does not know JUAN VALDEZ let me introduce some facts.

·      Juan Valdez is a fictional character who has appeared in advertisements for the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia since 1958, representing a Colombian coffee farmer

·      Juan Valdez was initially portrayed by José F. Duval in both print advertisements and on television until 1969. José Duval died in 1993 at the age of 72.

·      Juan Valdez had been embodied by Carlos Sánchez since 1969 and voiced by Norman Rose. In 2006, Sánchez announced his retirement, and Carlos Castañeda, a grower from the town of Andes, Antioquia, was selected by the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia as the new face of Juan Valdez.

·      There were 238 Juan Valdez coffee shops in 2013, 135 in Colombia and 35 shops in other countries. Juan Valdez brand coffee is available in Chile, Costa Rica, Aruba, Ecuador, El Salvador, Panama, Spain, Kuwait, and the United States at supermarkets and Juan Valdez coffee shops. Just 3 weeks ago new Juan Valdez coffee shop opened in Miami downtown.

What makes this coffee unique? Its very personal. In my opinion, when you taste it, you really feel coffee, not the artificial coffee syrup which is served by Starbucks or other commercialized coffee shops.  Honestly saying, I saw how people collect coffee, I saw how they select each grain separately, I saw theirs passion for that. It is also shocking info that coffee collectors earn 1 dollar per day + “stuff lunch”. Everybody knows that it is nothing however it has nothing in common with commercializing or cheap labour. People do that in Colombia. Normally, the coffee collectors live on a farm or very close to it. I can say that they live + smell + fulfill theirs life with coffee. It has to be a passion, nah? I was super delighted when I could spend a day with coffee collectors. I helped them with collecting coffee and do all the procedures, step by step to obtain a cup of coffee and drink it J . Afterwards I also had opportunity to put all grains into the wool bags which were taken by a truck in a very next day. What next ? coffee shops around Colombia. It is pretty funny for me that those coffee grains I have collected were used, reproduced and put into the wool for sale.

Juan Valdez reminds me of the most moments spent with my friends in malls or in Cartagena. Drinking coffee in JV coffee shop was such a pleasure. I could choose my coffee, not only “tinto” which means just a black coffee and its drunk in Colombia everyday for breakfast  but also cappuccino, Frappuccino and much more.  Probably you can find JV coffee at the airports. For those interested to this coffee please contact me and I can help you with finding it.

Have a lovely day

Besitos

Natalia Skotnicka

nskotnicka@wp.pl

missing one puzzle

Hello  my dear friends and travelers,

Since a month I am deeply absorbed with others  exchange blogs or facebook groups. It is unbelievable hard for you coming back home and adapt into new-old environment. For those who just came back from their exchanges, I feel really sorry for you guys and if you would like to share with ur feeling, youre more than welcome to email me.

The only reason why I havent posted anything since a month or so is just being busy with moving out from Poland to The Netherlands. As I wrote in the previous post, I just moved to Amsterdam. I started my university week ago and there is a new chapter in my life, which I call " from caterpillar to the butterfly " sweet, isnt it ? I am super excited, cause in 3 weeks I will host my Colombianhost family here, in Ams. Just can not wait more till I will see my mom, dad and lovely auntie. It has been 1,5 year since we havent seen each other, thats a lot. I am sure we are going to spend hours talking.

I will probably go to Colombia in December or february. As soon as I will know my exactly schedule I will book my ticket. Does anyone want to go with me?
Responding on all your emails and PM I am really happy to give you more knowledge about Colombia. More I travel around Europe, more people I meet, I find out that people are really scared going to South America, specially Colombia. I am here for you guys to break the ice and help with organizing your trip. I am not the travel agency, however I know a lot and I know what Europeans are afraid of and what they should be aware of. I am really happy to help people discover Colombia. I do that from last 3 years and you have to believe me that there is nothing better than chatting about CO.
If you are planning your trip to Colombia soon, send me an email and I will give you the best advices and tell you the crazy ideas for having (safe) fun there !

Coming back to the "hottest" topic which is right now ..coming back "home" I would like to quote one girl. I saw her thoughts on facebook and she gave me permission to publish it.
 

 " So you come back and, to be honest, it is terrifying. I was more afraid seeing Zagreb from the plane two weeks ago than I was seeing Mexico in the same way a year ago. So you cry the first night and keep repeating how you want to go back, but in the end you pull it together and start living it day by day.
People ask the usual questions, "How was your trip?" (trip, huh), "Are you back for good now?" ("If 'for good' means the next six months, then yes.") and my personal favourite "How does it feel now?". The question leaves me mouth and eyes wide open until the interrogator gives an answer themselves "You feel like you never left, like you are living a dream, right?" and I just smile and nod.
The truth is, I still don't know how I feel about being back, about this place. I have spent nights trying to write something that would help me understand. I don't know if I feel and think too much or nothing at all, so I can't write.
But it doesn't feel like I had never even left, it doesn't feel like a dream at all. Of course, the answer to that question could never be made small enough to fit into the building hallways or a tram station, so I just smile and nod. But I guess it really feels like... not enough. Just... wide open and half empty. It feels like missing puzzle pieces that have been gone for some time now and you are aware of that, but there is nothing really you can do. You can call the puzzle whatever you want, a heart, a soul, but still it feels more like something a butcher would be responsible for. That is the price of travelling, losing your puzzle pieces, finding the place where you belong and falling in love half way across the world and then leaving.
I watch people now, mostly those I don't get along with, those close-minded people that couldn't believe I am going alone to México for a year. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me, but it had a price, and in that, I guess they were right. So I watch them, and in the same time I envy them and pity them. They have never left this place (and they most probably never will), they are in relationships that last years, if they ever had to be separated from their partner, family, friends it was at most for a few weeks. They have no puzzle pieces missing. So how do I explain when they ask how it feels, the feeling of leaving everything you love behind. How easy it is. How goodbyes are said hundreds of times, but never really meant and then you're gone. How you are driving through that city for the last time and it feels like flood is coming up behind you, drowning everything out. How the world is so small when you are halfway above the ocean.
How fucking easy it is to just leave and you cannot believe your feet are moving one in front of the other when your heart is shedding behind you and then you are in your home town coming out of the airport and you cannot believe you are still there after all the tears you spilled into the ocean and then the two weeks passed and you are still trying to write the letter, but how do I write that we will be okay when I am afraid my puzzle will fall apart without all the missing pieces.
Those close-minded people, I envy them and pity them both because they do not know this kind of pain. My heart and soul feel half empty now because when I left they grew larger. Sometimes I want to be just like them, fall in love with my next-door neighbour, not question any of the authorities, never leave my little old town, because just imagine having a life like that... Imagine kissing the one you love every day. Imagine seeing your best friend at school every day. Or just, imagine seeing them, kissing them, being able to touch them and feel the warmth of their skin and not the computer screen... So yeah, sometimes I think they were right and I want to be just like them, silly and shallow and whole and having the comfort of fighting with people and not breaking my head over the fact that I'm leaving in three days and should not be fighting right now!
But most of the time I am really thankful for the pain and my missing puzzle pieces because without losing them I would never know the joy of finding them again and I would never appreciate having them the same. "

Paula Torres. 

strong huh?  When I was reading it for the first time ( out of hundred) I felt like her. I felt like every exchange student in the world, coming back and trying to adapt. It is hard. I know that and I survived it also. But it gets better and you built a new, different life. Coming back to your home city will  never be the same as you had before you left. You have changed, your friends have changed, everybody got more mature but you see the world in different lights. You feel like you dont belong here anymore, you feel like you should just leave everything here and come back to you exchange country? 

... 

well I had questions like that in my head too, Ive been crying for nights and months but now when I am totally over the big "coming back depression" I started to appreciate each day I have spent in Colombia and what is the most important, I started to take my life seriously. Colombia for me is not just a country I went to my exchange, partied all year long and made friendships forever Ok, everything is really important but FOR ME, the most important thing I have learned there is LOVE. Love to people, to culture, to family and to spread the love around you. That is what I do here, online, www.nataliaskotnicka.blogspot.com, I spread the love and knowledge about Colombia and I do it with passion. I would love to help each person who is scared going there. In my opinion, you have last 7-10 years to visit Colombia, cause after some time it is going to be so americanized and latin culture can disappear with time. But it is only mine, personal thing. 

so, does anyone want to share with coming back feelings ? Do you remember how you get welcomed by all the people at the airport ? I DO and it is unbelievable how hard is stop missing your moments of your life. 

xoxo

Natalia Skotnicka

nskotnicka@wp.pl