Thursday, May 26, 2016

inspired by mom

Inspiration for this post came out from today's date. 26 of May 2016

On this date, in Poland, we celebrate Mother's day and this is very special day for me to say l o u d, to every person who follows my blog how I  L O V E the most beautiful creature in this World- my MOM. I think every mom is special and there is no a bad mom. You may have different opinions, you may have different mothers and different view on love and family. However for each child, their mom is the most important person, no matter how old are you. I believe that there is not a bad mom, because every mom, which takes a decision of having or even abort child, she has a super power to do it. This power could be anything as we struggle with everyday life and sometimes we are not sure about anything we are doing. do not blame. do not blame anyone, who hurt you and do not judge. Keep your opinion for yourself and when someone hurt you, never hurt back. I am very proud of my mom's work that she taught me these values. As far as I remember I never hurt anyone, consciously ( and believe me or not, everyday I met people, from whom I should just cut off).

Since already few years, my mom became my Bible. My friends know that I call her for every single thing, no matter if I am in Colombia, Holland or Poland, texting her few times per day is very regular thing as well. For me she is one of the person, who gives power to live and teaches every single person, as well her patients : how to be positive in life. What is more, she can also "kill me" with her hard questions and one of this question I would like to ask you.

" What would you like to try / or to do, if you were sure that it will be a success " ? 

yeah, what would I like to try ?

Well, each of us would have different answers.

For sure I would launch my own business, build my own independence ( as there is nothing more important for me as love, family and my own independence), then I would probably adopt Colombian girl, show her the world like my mom did to me. Then maybe I will fall in love.
these are all plans, dreams, imagination of the future we make based on our today's life.
We are trying to imagine, what the future can bring and we constantly think what will happen if..

My mom was always trying to teach me to focus on a presence and do not make plans. Unfortunately this is very German of me and I love and intend to make plans everyday. I even plan my tomorrow's look, my breakfast lunch dinner, nap during day and shower. I plan because I dont like have this burden and I really do not like to follow people or services we use everyday. I have to plan at what time I will make my groceries, because I do not like when it is too crowded or when it is immedietaly after my school, from where I bring heavy books/ laptop.  ( haha ok I am not that f* up, it only sounds that bad :))

then she says S T O P. think about what you have to do today and for tomorrow.
When I was telling her about my super hard exam, which I am going to have after summer ( I know, long time from now) she said : N, do not think if you will pass or not, do not make excuses that it will be hard to study for, do not think how hard it will be that time and how much time you will have to spend on studying. BUT focus on preparing homework for every class and write down questions regarding problems you do not understand. Then, by following this process, you will pass.

Sometimes she also asks me ' what kind of person would you like to be? what kind of people would you like to attract?

Once she asked me to write down those things and read them after one year. Well, to be honest I did my homework, after which I noticed how 'ok' is sometimes to stop and think about things you would never think about or stop your busy life for couple of mins and remind yourself who you are and what you want achieve, with who you want to be and if the things you do are good or bad too you.
She also says, that sometimes letting go person, problem hurt less that keeping this 'rubbish' around you. In my opinion, sometimes it is just too hard to do it but I hope that one day each of us will have enough strenght to do so.

That is why we should say more often YES instead no. If you want to be like this  walking exclamation mark ! you have to start saying YES more often.

Too often some tragedies wake us up to live and to see and give good. You do not have to wait for NYE to start something new, to open new chapter of life, to finish unhealthy relationship, which do not make you happy anymore. Too often in life we say NO, in order to live more comfortable. We promise each other things, which will never take place, we want to quit smoking or drinking  or we want to be on a diet but saying NO is just more comfy for now.
should not be then an exercise for each of us to say more of YES ?

what does saying YES mean ? to start new day with positive way of thinking. Every morning when we have to get up at 6.30 am ( or sometimes earlier) , why dont we actually get up instead of snoozing for next 15min, which cause running to the shower and not having healthy breakfast? Saying YES also means to compliment more, to help more and to give more love and tranquility, which people need, and they need it urgently. Saying YES means also taking your friend for a walk and spend some quality time together, instead of exchanging long and sometimes unclear messages. ( but i was talking about this in the previous post).

sit down, start inhale with your nose and exhale with your mouth. and listen what your intuition is trying to tell you and say it YES.

- leave people, who hurt you
- stay with people, who love you
-forgive person, who hurt you the most. do not keep this negativity inside you
- accept yourself as you are, because you are perfect and unique
- create what scares you the most
- be happy, everyday, be happy from everything you get
-have a hope, that tomorrow is going to be even better
- take life less serious

E N J O Y every miracle, every secret, every doubt and uncertainty, what world has for us.

Please, ask yourself this above mentioned questions, and think. Disconnect yourself for one minute.

M O M,  have a very wonderful day. Although I cannot hug you and kiss you in person, you know that you are the most important thing in  my life and this will never change. The love I send you, no one will never receive.  You are my teacher and my everything.

March 1995, Canary Islands, I was 3 months old.

With Love and best wishes for all Polish Moms


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

look up

5 months and 16 days took me to sit down in front of the blank Word page and starting to write this post.
5 months and 16 days took me to realize that I really should continue writing my blog, not only for world travellers, 3rd culture kids but actually for myself.
5 months, without 16 days took me to get my shit together and be present now, not yesterday or tomorrow "what if" .

From the beginning, I left Barcelona, moved back to Amsterdam where I continue my studies, had some more and less stressful moments, parties which I wish I did not remember and met people whom I did not give enough time. The third part will be in today's post.

Giving each other time, understanding, talking without  judgment, being present here and now.

Be focused on others more than yourself.

Remember the old days when you had eye contact during a conversation? When everyone wasn't looking down at a device in theirs hands? We've become so focused on that tiny screen that we forget the big picture, the people right in front of us.  
We become so egocentric that we do not realize how many things are around us and how many people are in need. No, not poor people who ask you for a coin or cigarettes on a street but people with who you live and share your life. It may be anyone, your best friend, parent, sibling, neighbor, partner, colleague.. you name it.
Everyday we pass by people, who do good, who give us energy to live and who love us. Unfortunately we are focused too much on our lives that we create an excuse “ I do not have time” in order to not help someone else or to not give our expensive time to someone, who may need it more than us.

Being busy is nothing bad, being busy keeps us away from sinning, being lazy or in general from doing bad things. But have you wondered recently if your friends are all right ? I mean, all right.. not ok. ? Have you wondered that sometimes doing small good things may bring you double positive energy, which you may need now more than sth else? Have you wondered that sometimes skipping  instagram, snapchat or facebook for next 20 minutes in a tram will be more valuable than scrolling down the screen? Maybe in that moment ,when you will not be focused so much on yourself will realize the world around you and people who may need your sit in a tram. Maybe you will realize a friend who tries to tell you  something very important but you are too busy with your stories that you cannot realize an important message in his/her eyes ?

One thing, do you know why you never remember a name said for the first time? When you are introducing to someone new, both hands shake, smile is exchanged but there is a moment after 2 seconds which asks you “ what was her/his name ?? “
I may not discover America now but I will tell you why,

Because you are focused too much on HOW you are going to tell YOUR name that you do NOT listen what other person says.

Fair enough ? cool, because this simple example does not apply only for introducing yourself but also on everyday conversations.

People who know me they know that I am very talkative person, that I just love to speak and I love to have all this attention on me. Because I am also aware of these things so made an exercise with myself, it was like a training my personality.

I made an appointment with a friend I did not know longer than  3 months. Because we are still new to each other, there are plenty of topics to be discussed, there are plenty of stuff to be done. But no, I said to myself that today everything is going to be about her. The conversation started very simple, about recent stories with a partner, break ups, coming back, work, school, living - Everyday things.  The trick I used while talking with her for first 30 minutes was that I was not interrupting her, I was listening without even nodding, without using AHA, OK, YES, WHAT THEN…
She felt that I am really listening to what she would like to say and because I was not interrupting- she was talking more and more and started to share with me things, I did not expect from our simple afternoon meeting. She was talking more, expressing emotions, asking herself about what she want and I was just listening, trying in a meanwhile to ask her questions, instead of judging*
*( judging- everything can be judged by telling your opinion, which is not always necessary or asked).

I wont tell you what happened next or what did she share with me but I will tell you what would have changed if I did not remain silence.
By starting with Hi, how are you? Everyone tells things, happenings, recent stories. Everyone would like to share with as many things as possible or sometimes people just want to talk bullshit to feel better. But then only YOU decide about the quality of the conversation. I am not saying that it always has to be about “life and dead”, of course not, giggling laughing and looking at each other is even more my style than anything else but what I am trying to tell you today is to focus sometimes on someone else rather than yourself.

We need to be smarter than our smart phones and realize the people we are with are more important than the people we aren't with, and way more important than the strangers we hope will tweet,snap and like and share and Instagram whatever we're sending out into the cybersphere.

Have you wondered recently that you did not give enough attention to your friends but to someone else, who did not appreciate* it?
*appreciate it- I changed this word from d e s e r v e . in my opinion there is nothing we have granted from life and this is not like we deserve something or not. It is only our work, which then will pay us off or not.  

Have you wondered recently that you did not smile enough, laugh enough, spend spare time in a park instead a bar?

Did you thank your friend for being for you while you did not care about anything else but your problems?

Do you know when was the last time you dropped your friend at the airport, bought your gf flowers without any occasion or invited your friend for a dinner just because you are friends and there is always sth to celebrate?

Its always a good time to say thank you or I am sorry. Don’t postpone it, because there is always someone who is important to you.

"if you want to see a miracle, you have to be a miracle". - Regina Brett

one last thing, a commercial video from YT, which moved me a bit.  enjoy 

with L O V E