Monday, December 26, 2016

New year, let it be a very happy new year. 2017

Dear readers,

It has been a while since the last post, however when realizing that New Year is coming just in 5 days, I could not let it go without any New Year’s post.  I know I am not a regular here but it is important to write something from time to time. Not only to write my thoughts down but also to make you read something obvious, which you keep forgetting all the time.

New Year, new expectations, new short or long goals. Time for changes, for forgiveness, for an overall change, for better.  But where shall we start? Shall we set the big goals all again and say that this time I will make it happen                       F O R  S U R E        ? like, I will finally lose weight, finally do more good, finally stop being selfish, finally care more about others…you name it. We create these big long-term goals in order to change and feel better with ourselves. But I just thought of setting new goals, which are divided into small steps. They say that there is no lift to success that you have to take stairs. Then why don’t we take those?
Little example,

I will lose 20 kg during 2017.  Sounds achievable right? But you also said that three years ago. So, lets maybe change it into “ I will lose 3kg monthly during 2017 ? Means… you will be more motivated by setting small goals and achieve one big faster?

I will stop being that selfish, spoilt person during 2017. Changing into: I will call my family from once to twice per week, I will ask others how they really are instead of treating them as your emotional trash?

In school I learned that the goals we set they have to be SMART. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound.  Doesn’t it sound better and more achievable than one long-term goal with a further excuse ‘ actually 2017 is long enough to start next month, instead of now? ‘

Why do not we all agree that we will be better people for each other?  Very simple but I think each of us could think of becoming better person and get rid of bad habits.

Oh, and what happened to our everyday bullshit and games? Shall we maybe start from this?  Overthinking, analyzing instead of going with the flow and let it go?  I saw a good picture last time, somewhere on Instagram. A hand is holding very tight that rope. Next this hand becomes very red as keeping that rope causes  a lot of pain. Then saying appears ‘ sometimes its less painful to just let it go”

Another one, we are expected to ‘act smart’ and ‘interesting’ but not too interesting because we’ve got to leave a little to other people imagination.
From this spot I say hi to best friends J and L.
I placed some time ago this article about modern dating 2016, it is really interesting to if you’re curious, just scroll down and you’ll find it.

What about people we meet, who we like? We have to be constantly ‘busy’ or ‘out of reach’. We have a certain amount of time we have to wait before even thinking about replying to their message. But are we even allowed to use emoji’s? We start to become this person that we aren’t. We are now pretending to like what they like because we feel that will make them fall for us more. It will make us seem more attractive. Every. Single. Word has to be properly analyzed and your best friend(s) need to proof read before pressing send.
On the other hand, you can run after person, who does not run after you. So maybe let’s stop this game and just focus more on people who care, instead of running for others stupid and sick attention? Wearing our heart on sleeve isn’t easy. Being let down and mentally neglected is tough to bounce back from. But now this is time and we are all old enough to have this power and leave all shit behind us. Why? Just because it’s almost 2017 and this reason is good enough.

So please. You have next 5 days to define, who you were the last 365 days and if you like this person. If so, congratulations, you became a better one out of X number of world’s population. If not, then you also have 5 days to define, who you want to be for the next 365 days or for more. If you did so, start now.

31st of December 2016, 11.45 pm
Please prepare 12 grapes, which symbolize 12 different wishes for the next year and with each minute eat one. With this, make all your new wishes, dreams and even new you come true. *

*My Colombian fam taught me this, I believe this is a perfect symbol of starting new year and new you.

And now,

May all your wishes come true, be healthy, wealthy and be good. Respect others and treat them not how you want to be treated but how they want to be, as everybody is different.

Natalia xx

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Put your oxygen mask first, then everyone else will feel easier to breath around you.

My soul has tendency of overanalyzing and overthinking of everything and everyone I pass. Very often I am focused on unkind comments from strangers, on friends who disappointed me, on people who do not care, on things I could have done better or on a future, which may bring many consequences based on my current behavior.  Then, like today, I am asking myself what can happen if my soul can love everything I do. What will happen if I could love people I am used to dislike or people who hurt before ? What will happen if I could just see good in people and try to get the best out of them? In every minute of your life you could have your special zoom+ mirror, which will search only  for positive aspects of people’ behavior… What would you do with it? Imagine you see only good in your boss, your colleague, team member, your neighbor, who puts loud music on Sunday evening. Imagine you see only good in your partner, in your roommate, in your annoying younger or older sibling…imagine you see only good in your illness or when you are fired or… in a pregnancy test, which gave you the result you didn’t expect. What will happen if you would see only good in every aspect of your life, which seem dead.. like the job you hate, the relationship you want to get out from, the exam, which you still can not pass after the 3rd time… What will you do if you will finally understand that all you do, how you think, what you give… only depend on you? You need to decide how you want to think and if you are happy with it. We all do everything the same. We all work, worry, love, want to have great holidays and great people around. The difference is H O W we do it.

No one is actually listening to the cabin crew who always say the same thing

“ Put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you “.

For me this sentence has a deeper meaning as if you don’t help yourself first, you cannot save anyone around you. The same applies to real life situations. How would you like to help others, in any matter, if you do not take care of yourself? Can it happen that you are always available for everyone, on call ? You are always available to help others, before you actually think of yourself. I am not an exception. I always try to help other in studying, finding jobs, taking people out, talking, solving some real problems. Sometimes I do these things and cancel my own plans as I find my friends more important than myself. But I bet that I am not the only one. How can you see good in others if you do not take care of yourself? How can you help others if you are exhausted and get annoyed by everything, which surrounds you. ( True that all women have their PMS but I really do not want to compare these days to others J )  How can you change it? What should you do in order to put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you?

First, agree with yourself. Let it be an official allowance to take care of yourself as you are the only one responsible for that, no one else. After following a mindfulness course I allowed myself to create a list, to which I will stick everyday, no matter how busy I am.

Oh, by the way, “ I am too busy” is not an excuse. For literally nothing

1.     Take care of myself – stop taking responsibilities, which aren’t yours. Stop being so much for others that by the end of the day you do not have any energy for yourself
2.     Give yourself 5 minutes- take your 5 minutes to chill, to relax and to breath when stress just took over your body. Reset. Sit down. The more chilled you will be, the better decisions you will make. Trust me, these 5 minutes without your phone, computer and your thoughts will make you feel better and world will not disappear without you.
3.     Take what is yours- don’t give anyone a remote control to your feelings. Stop with excuses “ this guy makes me crazy”. Take your remote and press “ chill”. You do not have any influence on what other people do but you have an influence on what you do and how actually you think.
4.     Create a list with things for what you are grateful for- for example when you are stuck in traffic, look around and think how lucky you are to be inside the car/bus when other people have to walk in rain

Try to imagine that you love yourself as much as all people around you.

Put your oxygen mask first, then everyone else will feel easier to breath around you.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Is following the crowd the thing you really want ?

This night (as usually during nights), I was thinking carefully about my thoughts and I came to the conclusion that I may repeat myself from time to time. Please, forgive me if you ever noticed that but sometimes I cant control my “powerful thoughts”. First I do not want to sound as a crazy feminist, who I am not. Second, I have this need inside me to spread more wisdom, so not to give life advices  but open people eyes on things they are too much attached to or they too scared to leave their past behind them. In the last post I was writing about this ‘trend’ of  (not) being in a relationship, but today I would like to add something more to that.

Especially in the young age, in which I am now 22-30 years old, people tend to settle down, finish their studies, find a perfect matching job, start earning money in order to save for their future, which brings most of the time family. We are born with an idea to complete this scheme and be happy. But what happens, when we realize that after completing this scheme we are not happy enough? What if we want something else from life? What if we have different role to play in our life? I think everyone has this moment in the middle of studies that we have to figure out what kind of internship we want to do, where, how, now? What if we just would like to be extraordinary and do not follow the crowd? I am not saying that ‘ following the crowd’ is a bad thing. In my opinion, Following the crowd means that we do what is a ‘good thing’ to do... like again, 1. Completing studies, find a good job, find a good husband and have a family. Most of women just dream about it but I am not this kind of person.

It seems like this summer was one of my pre-last student summers in my life. That is why I was thinking what I will expect from the next summer, last 2 months of dolce far niente in my life. Travel the world? Spend some time with family? Volunteering?
I don’t know but for sure I will have to do something, which I will remember till the rest of my life, like going to India to monastery and a silent weeks.
Why did I bring up this summer example? Because this is the best example of being pushed to do something “ extraordinary” in our lives.. Knowing, that it will be probably your last student summer, what would you do? Probably half of you would say“ go to Ibiza and party all weeks long”, another half would say “ I don’t have a plan and any willing to think what will happen in one year”.

Nowadays, people follow the crowd, however they still think that they do something extraordinary and they are unique. People still want to believe in eternal happiness, which always includes money, as everyone wants to get rich, have a family and just an amazing life. But the question now is,
A R E   W E   R E A D Y  F O R    A   C H A N G E ?
In order to change our life…?
With all that plans we make, do we realize that in order to change something in our life, we have to get rid of the past? Or is the past creating the future?

Again, coming back to my last post. People are very easily attached to another person, which makes it almost impossible to leave, change and forget. But why would we hang on someone, who does not appreciate us? Why do we always need to relay on someone, in any terms( friendship, partnership) ? Why cant we think that everything we do, all the choices we make are only depend on us? I said before that we became very selfish and we stopped caring about the other person, but.. why not in this topic? Why cant we leave the past, face it and agree that we do not own anything anyone? That is okay to leave and be by our own !? If we do not like it, we can just leave, close one chapter in order to open a new one? Believe me, I know it hurts very much but by only non stop trying we become the best of ourselves.

As talking about following the crowd, it always scary me when I see unhappy couples, who are together because they share past, moments, its too difficult to break such an ‘amazing’ relation and in older age- children. But the question is, Who are you living for? You have one life, which you have to use and try everything in order to not regret anything. Why would you be so dependent on someone? Why can’t we create a better world by doing good and share good with only the closest relatives and friends? Why is it so hard for us to feel lonely for a bit? It is at the beginning, but then we realize that it actually made us stronger.

I was wondering for the last 2 years, when I got out from this teenage stage
“why don’t I have a bf ?” what is wrong with me?

Then during my internship I met a very old Polish friend with who I went on a party. Of course alcohol sometimes does not help but in this time, it actually broaden my mind. I asked him this question, tipsy, in a party mood and I did not expect any real answer. Nevertheless we started to talk and I will always remember what he said. Please, allow me to quote him
“ Natalia, when I see you, I see such a strong woman, such a strong personality that I am not sure who is able to handle it  (unconsciously). Hearing your life story from the moment you introduce yourself, that you are a world citizen who has been raised abroad. You left to Colombia by yourself when you were 15, when your peers are probably having their first beer in their life but you were “fighting” for life. To be honest, I am not sure who is able to handle that positivity and confidence. But when I see you later, I talk to you, you are the most fragile person I know”

After 10 months of digesting this conversation with my friend I came to the conclusion that everyone has its own mission in life.  Someone is born to make people happy by selling ice creams, someone is born to be a CEO of a big company like Apple, so I can now use my Mac to write this post, and other people, and I feel like I belong to that group is born to open some people eyes on reality. I am not writing anything you do not know, but I am writing something to remind you about that, which you may forget in your busy life.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

From ex to sex

To my dearest J 

From ex to sex

Last night I thought about what it takes to make a relationship for to death.
More singles have more long term success with friends so maybe it is a better strategy to marry your friend? Whoever in the absence of sex whether that’s the arrangement or just what happens after few years? What distinguishes this companion for the many other companions ? When it comes to saying I DO , is it a relationship or relationship based on friendship without fireworks ?

 I have never talked about relationships here. Not because I don’t do relationships but because I did not feel like there is a point for a post like this.
Till now.
Well, it wont be anything private but something very open with a lot of open questions you can ask yourself. People talk about it over and over again and because I also talk to my girls a LOT and I write it in caps because I really do it a L O T. Especially girls have a tendency to exaggerate things, especially when it comes to love and guys. I also noticed that many people define happiness by love and by sharing it with other person. What does it mean? That we can’t be truly happy when we don’t have a match? What makes us think about finishing studies and getting married next years? Is the society we live in force us or maybe we believe in eternal happiness with a second half ?
We can ask these questions over and over but maybe we are the new bachelors ? For sure in this world relationships are put on a second place after a perfect job. Why is that? Are we insecure about it so much that we prefer not to face it but we still can talk about it during every lunch meeting? Or how come that over the centuries we care less and less about other people? Are the break ups so painful that we close ourselves for another person? Or maybe it is just comfortable to be just selfish and love yourself more than others? If not, then what is a reason? In my opinion, break ups are awful and they are private and they are not necessary symptomatic of what two people had together. It also can refer to friendship, when it ends. I did not personally lose the real friends but when it comes to, it feels like a break up as you may not see that person anymore. When something bad pops up in our life we have a tendency to close for others and to overexaggerate the entire situation in order to feel a bit better about that ourselves.
The truth is in any given moment someone somewhere could nagging a face about you but it’s the reviews you give yourself that matter. After every situation you face, which involves at least two people together.  People feel guilty about almost all things they do. Starting with very basic like eating too much carbs, finishing with a life matters. Why is that? In my opinion we always want to give the best impression of ourselves. Which is a good thing until we wont mess up. People don’t want to do something here for what they will be sorry later. This plays a very big role in dating. Recently I read an article about this modern dating, which finishes with “ I don’t know what I want for now” . This sentence actually replaced the old saying  “ its not you, its me”.

Coming back to “ from ex to sex”, my feeling about dating now is very negative. Why is that? Because there is no longer things you wait for. Do you remember a first kiss after second date? Do you remember when you really had to wait to meet that person in life or waiting for an sms or call back? Now we live in this modern social media life, what about I was writing before. Hooking ups became a very casual things, especially in Europe( or maybe everywhere?) I am not saying I am different but I realize the fact that it really bothers me, which also makes my focus more on school, family and friends.. which in result cause no real interest about other sex as it always finishes the same. After dating someone for few weeks we realize that in that little time (even during first 4 weeks) you already know your life stories, you already had an intimacy and you have nothing to wait for. Am I right? Well in most cases it is like this. I think that because we started to underestimate ourselves as for example we stopped celebrate things, which we did before. Achieving something you have been working for last half year doesn’t satisfy you by the end because it just happened, you just completed your thing. Why is that strangers need to remind you about your great success, which you don’t see anymore?

Saturday, July 23, 2016

When you don’t get what you want, you get something better- an experience..

When you don’t get what you want, you get something better- an experience..

Recently, as you may noticed I started to write about something totally different, not about traveling, especially not about Colombia but about everyday, life or  past. I cannot say that I feel totally disconnected from Colombia, but I can say that I grow up and we grow up with every experience we have in life. To have an overview about what I would like to write today is my recent life situation, which made me thinking and made me realize that when you don’t get what you want, you get something better- an experience..

So as a student in Amsterdam I have been doing a lot and I am also very busy with a lot of small things. For the last 6 months I worked at Andaz, a 5* hotel property, which belongs to Hyatt. My work was located on Prinsengracht street, which is one of the most beautiful street in Amsterdam and my favorite one.
What happened is that they did not extend my contract, giving me very lame excuses. I was fully prepared for my conversation with my manager and I was aware of what may happen. What is more, I was happy about it and I know that this place wasn’t for me anymore.  What I need now is to be at home and enjoy my summer with my family and friends. 

Talking about an experience, my CV is changing every 6 months. Every 6 months I am looking for something new, something better, something more interesting. Every 6 months I also have different point of view and I am interested in different things. Every 6 months I also have different plans for my future and that is why I work as hard as possible, trying new things and non stop improving in different fields of life.  In general, people at my age do not really think about the future or do not take part time jobs seriously (my own observation based on my peers), however I would like to climb the latter. I realized that for me it became impossible not to climb the latter, not to work, not to being tired and not to work sometimes double shifts. I really enjoy it, I can tell everyone how tired I am and how I hate my work but by the end of a conversation I will be happy and grateful that I could manage it, that I had this patience to do that shit. If you look at my CV you can find everything- my life on 2 A4 pages. Starting with private education in Colombian high school, moving to catholic boarding school with IB program, continuing with my present Hotelschool The Hague, one of the very few best hotel schools in the world. Meeting prime minister of Japan and performing for him, being on exchange program, doing my last internship at W Barcelona and speak 4 languages. I think it’s a lot for almost 22 year old girl.
Why is that ? How come ?
I just have been pushed for what I can be very grateful to my parents.

I haven’t realized that exactly 5 years ago, the Lufthansa plane took me to Colombia, to the country, which changed my life and my perspectives forever. This plane showed me what working hard means and what is the difference between career and a job.
I started to work when I was 18 as part time waitress in Hilton Convention Center in Warsaw. It was very casual as I needed any experience before entering Hotelschool The Hague. With this first experience I learned a lot about people and their needs. With every job, especially in hospitality business you learn that but it is only up to you if you see it more broad than the other person. As a part time waitress in Andaz I thought that I am doing  my job because I have to. I was not really motivated, however my team was great. Now, when I have a moment to think about it I can say that I learned a lot about people. I can easily recognized people’ needs and wants, their frustration and business limitations. Experience I gained there is much more worth than money I got. Of course, by the very end of the month money is a very important factor as you have to pay your bills, life, feed your family if you have one and if you don’t, then you have to live in this very capitalistic life.
 I have worked in many many many places until I finally understood that I desire more than just a job. I started to desire a career, to have a mission I have to start. Everyone has one, but not everybody is aware of that. How can you find it? Listen to your deepest thoughts before sleep, during bus ride, during grocery shopping or during meditation. Take 2 minutes from 24 hours and ask yourself one question “what do I want now? “ and then follow the first answer your heart gives you. Don’t be scared, otherwise you will lose your destiny, you will lose your life.

Each of your life experience will build your future from that day on. When you start to develop- you realize that you grow up. On the other hand, if you feel that you are lost in life, I cheer you up, cause maybe you are in your place, where your life would bring you anyway.

Have a nice weekend