From ex to sex

To my dearest J 

From ex to sex

Last night I thought about what it takes to make a relationship for to death.

More singles have more long term success with friends so maybe it is a better strategy to marry your friend? Whoever in the absence of sex whether that’s the arrangement or just what happens after few years? What distinguishes this companion for the many other companions ? When it comes to saying I DO , is it a relationship or relationship based on friendship without fireworks ?

 I have never talked about relationships here. Not because I don’t do relationships but because I did not feel like there is a point for a post like this.

Till now.

Well, it wont be anything private but something very open with a lot of open questions you can ask yourself. People talk about it over and over again and because I also talk to my girls a LOT and I write it in caps because I really do it a L O T. Especially girls have a tendency to exaggerate things, especially when it comes to love and guys. I also noticed that many people define happiness by love and by sharing it with other person. What does it mean? That we can’t be truly happy when we don’t have a match? What makes us think about finishing studies and getting married next years? Is the society we live in force us or maybe we believe in eternal happiness with a second half ?

We can ask these questions over and over but maybe we are the new bachelors ? For sure in this world relationships are put on a second place after a perfect job. Why is that? Are we insecure about it so much that we prefer not to face it but we still can talk about it during every lunch meeting? Or how come that over the centuries we care less and less about other people? Are the break ups so painful that we close ourselves for another person? Or maybe it is just comfortable to be just selfish and love yourself more than others? If not, then what is a reason? In my opinion, break ups are awful and they are private and they are not necessary symptomatic of what two people had together. It also can refer to friendship, when it ends. I did not personally lose the real friends but when it comes to, it feels like a break up as you may not see that person anymore. When something bad pops up in our life we have a tendency to close for others and to overexaggerate the entire situation in order to feel a bit better about that ourselves.

The truth is in any given moment someone somewhere could nagging a face about you but it’s the reviews you give yourself that matter. After every situation you face, which involves at least two people together.  People feel guilty about almost all things they do. Starting with very basic like eating too much carbs, finishing with a life matters. Why is that? In my opinion we always want to give the best impression of ourselves. Which is a good thing until we wont mess up. People don’t want to do something here for what they will be sorry later. This plays a very big role in dating. Recently I read an article about this modern dating, which finishes with “ I don’t know what I want for now” . This sentence actually replaced the old saying  “ its not you, its me”.

Coming back to “ from ex to sex”, my feeling about dating now is very negative. Why is that? Because there is no longer things you wait for. Do you remember a first kiss after second date? Do you remember when you really had to wait to meet that person in life or waiting for an sms or call back? Now we live in this modern social media life, what about I was writing before. Hooking ups became a very casual things, especially in Europe( or maybe everywhere?) I am not saying I am different but I realize the fact that it really bothers me, which also makes my focus more on school, family and friends.. which in result cause no real interest about other sex as it always finishes the same. After dating someone for few weeks we realize that in that little time (even during first 4 weeks) you already know your life stories, you already had an intimacy and you have nothing to wait for. Am I right? Well in most cases it is like this. I think that because we started to underestimate ourselves as for example we stopped celebrate things, which we did before. Achieving something you have been working for last half year doesn’t satisfy you by the end because it just happened, you just completed your thing. Why is that strangers need to remind you about your great success, which you don’t see anymore?