Saturday, October 29, 2016

Put your oxygen mask first, then everyone else will feel easier to breath around you.

My soul has tendency of overanalyzing and overthinking of everything and everyone I pass. Very often I am focused on unkind comments from strangers, on friends who disappointed me, on people who do not care, on things I could have done better or on a future, which may bring many consequences based on my current behavior.  Then, like today, I am asking myself what can happen if my soul can love everything I do. What will happen if I could love people I am used to dislike or people who hurt before ? What will happen if I could just see good in people and try to get the best out of them? In every minute of your life you could have your special zoom+ mirror, which will search only  for positive aspects of people’ behavior… What would you do with it? Imagine you see only good in your boss, your colleague, team member, your neighbor, who puts loud music on Sunday evening. Imagine you see only good in your partner, in your roommate, in your annoying younger or older sibling…imagine you see only good in your illness or when you are fired or… in a pregnancy test, which gave you the result you didn’t expect. What will happen if you would see only good in every aspect of your life, which seem dead.. like the job you hate, the relationship you want to get out from, the exam, which you still can not pass after the 3rd time… What will you do if you will finally understand that all you do, how you think, what you give… only depend on you? You need to decide how you want to think and if you are happy with it. We all do everything the same. We all work, worry, love, want to have great holidays and great people around. The difference is H O W we do it.

No one is actually listening to the cabin crew who always say the same thing

“ Put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you “.

For me this sentence has a deeper meaning as if you don’t help yourself first, you cannot save anyone around you. The same applies to real life situations. How would you like to help others, in any matter, if you do not take care of yourself? Can it happen that you are always available for everyone, on call ? You are always available to help others, before you actually think of yourself. I am not an exception. I always try to help other in studying, finding jobs, taking people out, talking, solving some real problems. Sometimes I do these things and cancel my own plans as I find my friends more important than myself. But I bet that I am not the only one. How can you see good in others if you do not take care of yourself? How can you help others if you are exhausted and get annoyed by everything, which surrounds you. ( True that all women have their PMS but I really do not want to compare these days to others J )  How can you change it? What should you do in order to put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you?

First, agree with yourself. Let it be an official allowance to take care of yourself as you are the only one responsible for that, no one else. After following a mindfulness course I allowed myself to create a list, to which I will stick everyday, no matter how busy I am.

Oh, by the way, “ I am too busy” is not an excuse. For literally nothing

1.     Take care of myself – stop taking responsibilities, which aren’t yours. Stop being so much for others that by the end of the day you do not have any energy for yourself
2.     Give yourself 5 minutes- take your 5 minutes to chill, to relax and to breath when stress just took over your body. Reset. Sit down. The more chilled you will be, the better decisions you will make. Trust me, these 5 minutes without your phone, computer and your thoughts will make you feel better and world will not disappear without you.
3.     Take what is yours- don’t give anyone a remote control to your feelings. Stop with excuses “ this guy makes me crazy”. Take your remote and press “ chill”. You do not have any influence on what other people do but you have an influence on what you do and how actually you think.
4.     Create a list with things for what you are grateful for- for example when you are stuck in traffic, look around and think how lucky you are to be inside the car/bus when other people have to walk in rain

Try to imagine that you love yourself as much as all people around you.

Put your oxygen mask first, then everyone else will feel easier to breath around you.