Tuesday, October 10, 2017

your inner garden

Since the last note has been posted half year ago, I decided to do something about it...
Clearly I have been very busy, not only with school but also with work, then summer came and other distractions. However, the past 5 months kind of defined my next move, with which I am sharing now..
They say, time flies when you are having fun.. but when you are busy, you do not realise what you may missing out there. Last 5 months were hectic in each aspect of my life and I am very happy that in 3 months only we enter new chapter - 2.18 , in which I will graduate, hopefully get my dream job.

However today I would like to share with some thoughts. Am always underlining, that  I do not intent to open your eyes but what am trying to do, is just make you think about some obvious things, which are forgotten in our everyday rush.

Firstly, I would like to start off with my internship, which is the last phase of my studies. Yes, I also cannot believe that am almost done. Thinking about the dream company- location and people made me realise that sometimes you are thinking too far and too complicated about something you would like to do.  You are too busy with planning, checking, stressing that you might miss your biggest values as a person.  Then you become stressed with the plan and with following others that you forget to keep balance.

Real life example...  I have been working for The Entourage group for the past year. I started off as a hostess in the best restaurant of Amsterdam. I applied for this as I simply wanted to change my part-time job, without having anything particular in mind. So I was working for 6 months until I realised that being hostess at the duchess is not only being pretty and guiding guests to the table, but also motivating others and giving my best and standing out for others. I will not bother you with details but around May, when I got really busy, I stood up and took an extra mile to improve myself and my skills. Having this said, " this thing" showed me how good I am with people and how my empathy skill is developed. People who know me have been always saying that I am good hearted person but I realised it only now, when I really cared about other employees and how do they feel at work/ after work- as I was looking for improvements within the company. This little assignment showed me that I don't have to go far and look for something "unachievable " if I have my dream work served on a silver plate. So, the question is.. what are you looking for? If you are in a phase of your life that you would like to change your location, work, partner, school etc. Start from yourself. I think asking  questions is a very good beginning... Why would you like to change your location? what makes you feel like quitting and why are you always tired and demotivated? I am not saying that changes are bad, not at all, but sometimes we try to escape from the problem, which inside us and not at work, nor at School. Also, if you are looking for an adventure, why is that?
I read a book last month- "Crucial Conversations", from which I really memorised one thing. If you are about to talk with another person, ( any possible topic like job promotion, relationships, family issues etc) try to ask yourself a question, What would you like to get out of this conversation? How are you going to drive this conversation, to get the most out of it?
Think about it or read the book, highly recommended.

Also, Opening for other people feelings showed me how important is to give in order to receive. The more empathy you show, the more empathy you will receive. I believe it is really simple to say and again, I am not discovering America with this sentence, but I strongly believe  that taking step back, think and focus is a clue to what you may actually need and for you may look for. When was the last time you really mean " how are you?" or when was the last time when you really tried to understand what your relative is feeling, without jumping to solutions ?

If you scroll down, you see many posts about motivation, relationships, fixing and giving little advices. Also you may notice that each post of mine is about thinking what you really want from life. I believe that the best relationship you may have is with yourself. How you see things, how you see other people, how you act and why... because, by the end of your time, you will only think about good things that happened. And having this said, I decided to look for an internship in an area of Training and Development. I really do believe in trainings and motivating others. I was also thinking about starting other studies in psychology but that may come bit later.

So the take away for today is the following...

sit, relax, and breath. Do little meditation exercise ( I recommend the free app called Headspace) and just try not to think about anything for 5 minutes. Focus on your body and your breath. Then, ask yourself what do you want to accomplish by the end of this day and what you are grateful for.

if you repeat this exercise more often, trust me that you will feel the inner change. Remember that your mind is your inner garden and everything is up to you.


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