Thursday, April 27, 2017

Modern dating main Q&A

Recently I came across an article written by Melissa Moeller, who writes about modern dating. I find this article so inspiring that I decided to share my thoughts about it. After showing it to my friends we all agreed with the below small essay, but  then we also all agreed that there is nothing to be done about it (as you have to play it cool). Insta, snap, tinder, fb xxxx

As a almost 23 grown up teenager hihi I am pretty much aware of the modern hook up culture. This art of getting the right guy to the bar, crafting the perfect response to a text to make you seem just interested enough but not a despo. why is it all like this? why did everything become fake and boring? is it because of insignificant events in my mind or is it because I react too sensitively to the people with whom I share the world? or maybe the modern dating is just fucked up and lets focus on this part.

tbh I do not really believe in genuine dating anymore. People ask you to HANG OUT and you do so. but then you spend next three days wondering and ignoring, as you are suppose to do. it does not matter what you did, whether it was a movie or sex in a car or you went for a city trip- careful cause you were just hanging out and it was casual, right? Don't bother and think what he/she is thinking or what that evening meant to him/her. why not? because you can not ask, it is not cool. 

I see that we live in the world where people are afraid to feel and show feelings or emotions. they are too scared to show anything genuine. when someone is angry with you, there is no phone call but huge essay on WhatsApp. it is easier to send a passive aggressive text, you can avoid showing your feelings. If you like someone, you don't tell them how you feel, rather act interested enough for them to pick up on it but not enough to freak them out. if you don't play by the rules then you lose. so be careful.

Moreover, do not ask to hangout two nights in a row. if you texted first last time, you have to wait for him/her to text you first. and important: don't double text !!! so yeah, everything is done through texting as it is weird to call someone in the modern world just to have conversation or try to make plans. we are forced to wait for a response that might not ever come

Everything is calculated to appear thoughtless and do not forget not to care too much. For me it is quite difficult to play it, I guess I will faster graduate and pass my finance exam than understand the reason behind modern dating world. 

Another thing is when I like someone. when I like someone I wanna hang out with him and its simple as that, or at least should be. But in this dating culture it is different, as I talk to him too much, I'm needy. if I'm always free when he asks me to hang out, I'm clingy. if he takes 3 hours to respond my text, then I have to multiply the hours waiting, to the power of 2 and then I can text back. 
but then I am wondering, why am I playing this stupid game? why can we call people because we like talking to them, why does showing I care make me needy and despo? I am not this girl and I believe you are also tired of this internet shit. you're tired of this app world. 
lets post Insta together, crop this shit out and show the world how fun people we are. 
but even though we admit it now, online, we will keep acting like the above described behaviours. 

But still remember, you cannot define any relationship because everything is just a casual thing.

But here's actually Melissa's idea : " let's stop being little fucks. respect other people enough to tell them the truth. if someone makes you happy-tell them. if someone inspires you-tell them. if you're not interested anymore- please stop this fucking game and tell them. don't ignore people until they disappear. its time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and cryptic social media posts. everyone is human and we are all just trying to understand one another in this messy world" 

Then now my personal advice, be yourself and follow your intuition, dont play with people because karma is a bitch. remember, that some people will only love you as much as they can use you. their friendship ends where the benefit stops. remember when 'thank you' was enough? remember when ' I want you' was enough? 

drama, always

Natalia x