So I was thinking and thinking about the next post, which is the first one after my trip to Colombia, on which I took my best friend with me. It was again very short one as I spent only 10 days in the country. We traveled between Bogota-Cartagena and Cucuta. I could say that this trip was different; I can truly admit that after this one I am even more connected by heart and do not really feel the distance anymore. You all know how in love I am with Colombia and how happy I am when I am there, it is noticeable on every social media post so no need to write about it. However during this stay I felt like I never left, each year I am coming back and forth. Skyping, whatsapping and calling and… missing. Missing it hard and everyday.
When I was leaving Colombia I was not sad, as I knew that I am back in May, for 5 days only but still. But as a 23 year old girl, who gets older and more mature I felt connected like never before, I came to the realization that I need to get there even more by doing my internship or set my first business there.
I feel more, as nothing changed in my relationships with people I love. I am always afraid that one day I might lose it. I felt more connected as I felt like home. But the question is; how many homes can you have? They say that home is where your house is, but now the building means nothing for me. They say that home is where the heart is, but then it means that my heart has to be divided by 3.
Today I spent my day in a city (where my parents currently live) but this city has a sentimental meaning for me, as my first time here was 7 years ago, just before I left to Colombia. In this city I met other people, in my age or bit older who also decided to leave everything in a such young age and explore the world, move to another continent and challenge yourself. With some of them I am still in touch, others I follow on social media… either way I can see how successful these people are and how this challenge changed our life.
It is beginning of March, for some of you it means that your exchange is nearly done. You spent almost ¾ of the year abroad and probably you cannot imagine coming back home. As I said before, living in another country or switching countries every few years, change your life forever. You will never be the same and will never see things the same way you did before leaving. I remember how depressed I was when I had to come to Poland from Colombia. No one understood me as no one around had the experience like me. Yet, for those of us who have lived abroad, this is simply the way it is. I remember when I came back and I experienced ‘ reversed culture shock’, which is returning to the place you have lived before you left somewhere else.
I don’t think that there is really any way to describe this feeling and trust me that things will never be the same. I know that in this period of time many people wonder whether they should spend year/ summer abroad. Whether they should accept internships, which are far away from the comfort zone(home). I know this is very hard. The hardest part is that you are scared that when you come back, things will not remain the same. But… THEY WILL. You will change, not your friends, parents, boyfriends. You may leave for a year and trust me, nothing will change within the city you live but relationship will, for better. Real people will always love you, no matter what and where you are. If you are connected and have this ’spark’ then you both should take care of it. I think that at this point it is also valuable to find out who is real, right?
I promise that you will never want the clocks to be turned back and you will never want to be the person you were before leaving..
As I mentioned before, I am helping many students, parents and other people to take this decision of spending year abroad. I exchange emails mostly with Rotary parents, who are afraid of their children but also advising people, who are scared to get out of their comfort zone. But what I am trying to say and with this sentence I will close this post…
Sometimes it is a struggle to be present in moment, when you want to celebrate the beauty of where you are, rather than long for what you have left behind. But now, for me, home is wherever I find my homies, who I have in Colombia, Amsterdam and in Poland. It is messed up and sometimes it is very hard but I cannot imagine that I live the life, which I lived 7 years ago. And the thing is… we all feel the same. By the end of the day, we all want be around warm hearted and good people. It takes both sides to build the bridge, doesn’t it?
PS. GO ! as far as possible, to the weirdest place you can even imagine.
Questions? You know how to reach me ( as I cannot say where to find me jaja)